totogirl's thoughts on oz

update

i am currently reading "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister" by Gregory maguire. I reccommend his books to anyone. They are awesome.

so, my new job sucks. it is really different than my paramount. the managers are really snobby and the employees are lazy. their favorite thing to say is "that's not my job". can i just tell you that is my least favorite thing to hear? felipe says i should fire them all.

on the other hand i got to visit paramount last night. all of my mexicans (felipe, max, julie and maria) all came to see me. i miss them all so much. it was so much fun hanging out with them. they make me feel so loved too. even if they did not mean it they were practically begging me to come back. hopper says he'll get someone to quit so that i can come back. i love them.

posted by totogirl @ 1:10 PM 5 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??

my new job

so, today was my first day at my new job. i spent like 4 hours of it sitting in this room reading the managers manual. it was super great. everything seems really unorganized and the staff (inlcuding managers) are all young. besides i get to drive to Chicago for a managers meeting (how ironic is that since i would have had to anyway at cc). other than it went well. i think that it will be fun once i get the hang of it.

other a much more positive note i got my new checks today. they are disney hugs and kisses checks. very cute.

posted by totogirl @ 6:40 PM 3 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??

my suicide note

disclaimer--i am not thinking of suicide. i am quite happy and content. i was just listening to this song on the way home and i had this thought.....

if i were going to commit suicide this would be my note:

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft and there words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was inviting
There was time then it all went wrong
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid.
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my sie
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumm came
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that can not be
And there are storms we can not weather...
I had dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed...
The dream I dreamed.

posted by totogirl @ 11:33 PM 6 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??

my new life

so i went to church on sunday. naomi and andy came down and went with me. we went to Champaign first church. it was really good. shawna? laura used to be herberts sister's is going to church there. linda (a woman from my major and class at olivet) is going there too. it seemed like a a really friendly church. they were a little corny but who doesnt like corny? it is smaller and they have a floundering quiz team. going there is the first time that i feel we are supposed to be here.

i start at my new job on friday. i am trying really hard not to be sad about leaving paramount. i just cant but keep thinking that i will miss all them so much. i love my kids and i dont want to leave them. i fit there and i love it. i am not going to be sad. at least there will be no more naked frankie (you dont want to know).

posted by totogirl @ 12:41 AM 1 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??

deep thoughts

so i heard this great deep thoughts by jack handy

if you ever have to choose between pie and regular heaven. you should choose pie heaven because, it could be a trick but if it is not mmmmm...buddddy!


i felt the need to share

posted by totogirl @ 11:56 PM 1 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??

my guide to the movies

so i feel the need to share my opinions on the best movies of the year. first i must say Garden State with Zach Braff. it is delightfully cheering. i really thought that it was going to end sad and i would be depressed but it was wonderful.

next, Ladder 49. I laughed and I cried a lot. It is one of those movies that acutally allows you revel in the moment. too many movies have sad moments but they fly to the next thing and you dont have the chance to mourn. this movie does. it is so good.

finally, if you want to laugh your butt off, i suggest Taxi. i mean there have been better comedies but not recently. i laughed so hard...queen latifah and jimmy fallon are a good team.

posted by totogirl @ 11:37 AM 5 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??

my new name

So, i think that i should officially change my name. I will now go by Sellout Quitter or Quitter Sellout. Which sounds better? One name is what everyone at the office calls me and the other what my friends and employees call me. I suppose that it should not bother me that much. I guess what it comes down to is, it makes me feel like i should not like working in a theater. the truth is that i do. it is something that i love doing, there is so much variety. there is paperwork, customer service and tons of mechanical stuff. i like that everyday is not exactly like the one before. i like working there and i think that i can make a difference in the lives of the people i work with. i should not be made to feel like crap for something that i want do. i realize that the hours are tough and the pay is not great but it is fun and i am good at it. i dont think that i am a sellout.

as for being a quitter, i wish that i could move paramount with me. i love it there. i love being 5 minutes from where my sister lives. i love my entire staff, they are the best. i love the building and i love some of the customers (mar cinema guy). i even like some people from the office (dont make me specify which ones are pricks). next to my family moving away it is one the hardest things that i will ever have to do. the theater is a safe place for me. i belong there and no one questions my right to be there. i am good at what i do and i am confidant there. i dont want to leave but i could not stay where i was. kankakee sucks and i know many who read this blog agree with me. i needed the chance to make new friends and get away from relationships that wer destructive to my happiness and my faith. this is a good change for me.

i dont see myself always working at a theater but dont make me feel bad for who i am and what i enjoy. i realize some people are joking but isnt there always some amount of what you believe in every joke you crack. that is what makes it funny to you.

posted by totogirl @ 12:56 AM 2 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??

yeah for me

so, I got a new job. this is my goal...i have to call everyone in my family before any of them see this post. can i do it? it is at the Goodrich theater, and thank you everyone i already know that i am a sell-out. in fact, i believe it is my new name at paramount (thanks to odessa). it is a huge pay cut but it is the most money that i have been offered here in town. we will deal with it and i think i might get another job too.

posted by totogirl @ 1:01 AM 1 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??

my funniest moment

so in an effort to show everyone that i really am not depressed and that i have no self esteem. i will tell a story....

i dont remember the date exactly but it was in college and it was the weekend of omega retreat, the year i was a leader. we were all meeting at ludwig to head out the campgrounds. i think that i was supposed to bring something like chips or pop or something. anyway, i stopped at kroger. i was already like 10 minutes late (which for those who know me that is a bog deal). i run through kroger and get what i need, climb in the car and put on my sunglasses. i take the route to ludwig where you go by burke.
i notice as i am sitting at the light all these people are checking me out as they drive by, the guy in car next to me cant keep his eyes off me. now mind you i am driving my ultra cool '92 ford tempo. i am thinking i must be all that and a bag of chips. i am feeling so good and so hot. i have got it going on.
i pull away from the light and realize that the light in the car seems odd. i reach up and pull my sunglasses off my face. and ....oh my God....i was missing one lens on sunglasses. needless to say my head at deflated by the time that i reached ludwig

posted by totogirl @ 3:48 PM 4 Questions?? Comments?? Rocks?? Bottles??