life
so things here are great with one exception (i miss my bestest friend and wife). i love my job. as i mentioned before i was crazy nervous about my ability to actually do it. it is hard sometimes and it stretches me daily but i love it. with the exception of one of the people that started at the same time as me no one talks negatively about it (i think he is looking for reasons to dislike it). i like this job a whole lot. i love the members (that is what we call clients) and the people that i work with are fun.
joel's work is going well too. the one guy that was in front of him in line just got promoted so joel is next. they are doing background and credit checks. he will be lead shiftleader and have his own set of keys. he was also told that he really impressed the district manager.
and on a great note. seth had surgery wednesday and all went well. today he even pooped. YEAH!!!
my nephew
Is this not the cutest little boy that you ever seen? He was born on Wednesday morning at 10 am. He was 8 lbs and 6 oz and 20.5 inches long. His name is Seth Aiden (i am not sure the middle is spelled right). Right now is still in the hospital. He is underdeveloped and for some reason cant eat anything. The doctors think it is colon but wont know until monday. they may have to do surgery. pray for him, and for leah and mark. Pray that God would heal him and help him to live a long life full of the love that so many already have for him. pray that Leah and Mark make it through this tough time. pray for God's grace and power.
i believe in the power of prayer and i am begging everyone who reads this to take a few moments to ask God for his help. God bless you all!
compassion
so i spent the day today at work watching boring movies about stuff and reading the files of my future members. i watched this one movie on hallucinations and what causes them and stuff. during the thing they had this song written and performed by someone who experiences hallucinations. going into it i thought it was going to be corny and stuff but it made me feel really sad. the song was about this particular hallucination and how is started out comforting and ended up controlling her. i thought that was interesting because that is the way that so many things in our lives can be. we eat food after a break up because it is "comfort food." soon you have gained a bunch of weight and it gets you down so you eat more. eventually you think more about what you are going to eat each day then anything else and nothing else matters as much. that is just one example. the difference of course is that those that suffer from hallucinations really cant fight it that easily.
i also spent the day reading client files. it was so depressing, i swear. so may of my members had terrible childhoods that led to the way they are now. i have one member that suffers from like 4 different stigmas and still manages to get up each day and do what he needs to do to get better. at first i just felt bad for them, then i really began to think about it and really started gaining a lot of respect for what they deal with. i get depressed and sometimes dont feel like getting out of bed and i dont suffer from even 1/10th of what they have had to deal with. i am so excited to be getting the opportunity to work with these people and get to know them.
i have been really stressed about this move and wondering if this is where we are supposed to be. i dont know where we are going to get to the money to buy a car (which Joel needs and i hate depriving him of), or a house or even just enough to pay all the bills and buy gas too. i am worried that i moved here so that i can use my family as a crutch and that i will become a burden to them. i worry that as often as my husband tells me that he wants to be here one day he will resent for taking him away from his family and friends. sometimes i worry so much that i have to tell myself little stories in my head so that i wont think about it and can sleep at night.
i wanted to finish that whole paragraph and tie into the one before it. i wanted to say that all the stuff i said is worth it because i get the chance to work with my members. however, as much as i enjoy the job i am still not sure that is true. i think most of the stuff i will get over with time; God is taking care of us and providing for us but i dont think i will ever not worry about my husband resenting me. i know he is not like that but i wonder how i would feel in the same situation.
so about my new job
i have started my new job and some times i panic that i might not be able to handle it. it is an easy job. i get to go members houses and sit and talk with them and take them shopping and go to appointments and what not with them. the problem is (and anyone who knows me can see how this is) is that i am not the greatest at conversation. i worried that i am going to go into these peoples homes and not know what to say to them. i mean we do have specific things to check on but a lot of the job is making people like you. if your members like you it is a lot easier to work with them on stuff. i am a nice enough person once you get to know me but sometimes that takes a while with me. i am excited about this job though and i hope that i can do it well. i am excited about the prospect of being able to use my degree and all that money i spent to help people.
all thenew stuff
as you all know (especially if you read joel's new post) we have moved. things are great here. we are living with abs and brandon and we are going to buy a house soon.
i started my new job and it is fun. joy of joys it is all driving around so we get to pay tons of money is gas now. i work with mentally ill individuals and we basically do welfare checks and stuff at their homes. it is interesting and i finally get to use my degree so that is cool. i am considering getting my masters again because they will help pay for it. so that would be cool and maybe eventually i can get a job that will support our family and we can have kids. then my husband can stay at home in his fuzzy slippers and watch his soaps and "take care" of the kids.
well that is all for now. ciao!
