my fear
what exaclty makes a person a christian? so at what point do you stop being a christian? i know that the Bible says "Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead; then you will be saved." (or something like that). I can quote the Bible all day and come up with a verse about any subject but I dont think that makes me a Christian.Do you have to go church more than once a month? What if you consistently forget to do your devotions (I dont mean once and a while but for weeks at a time)? Is this what makes you a Christian? Or is it simply being a good person? trying to do the right thing? not losing your temper? not cussing? trying to be a compassionate person? is it even possible to do all the those things without someone to hold you accountable and without tapping consistently into the only person that can truly do the right thing all the time?
I know what makes someone a good Christian. What I want to know is can I still call myself a Christian at all? it is not that i want to do the absolute least that i can do and still call myself a Christian. in fact i should have added in that last blog that one of my secret desires is to be a truly good Christian. i dont think that i have ever been that. all i can ever feel when i am in God's presence is unworthy. i know that i love him but i also know that i dont tell him or show it at all. if i was him and i would seriously doubt any devotion on my part. i know that i will never be worthy of what he has given me but for once when i am in his presence i want just to tell him how much i love him and make it about him not me.
i keep telling myself when i have moments like this that i will just do better. i will force myself to read my Bible and pray and worship and want to go to church. but it should not have to be force. i should want to do it. if i am forcing myself, do i really love him or do i just want it appear that i do?
posted by totogirl @ 1:01 PM
3 Comments:
I just set down "The Handmaidens Tale" a book choc full of the feelings you are describing in the most extreme situations. When I look at you I do not see piety and reverence. Rather I see testimony of the reality of Christian life. It's not easy....they call it the straight and narrow because sometimes Christians aren't very coordinated and slip off. Yet it is still the road we choose to travel. The end product it worship and community with God and his people, all of them. That's my understanding of it.
By the way....the things we talked about on the way back from Lafayette really impacted me deeply. What you said about community and what Maria said about the attitudes we have about community, really laid on my heart. It was a wonderful revelation for me. Thanks.
abigail
I don't know if I am the one to comment on this because even though I am considered a christian wanna-be, i think my ideas and attitudes are a little too. . . . .liberal. . . .for most christians to ever think of me as kith or kin. But i agree with melanie. If you are just paying lip service, wouldn't God know? and if you truly love God, again, wouldn't he know? I know that you are supposed to show your love with all of your actions, but Gid knows we are human, and wouldn't he have the ultimate understanding of you? Maybe even better than you do? Just my thought, if you love him, he knows.
i love you. you'll be here in 2 days. i cant wait!!
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