totogirl's thoughts on oz

what is the point?

so i have decided that i am going to stand up for myself more. i have never really been one to do that before. sure, i would get irritated when i was walked and i would let the people doing the walking know (sometimes) but i never made them stop. i suppose that i have let people walk on me because i cared way too much if they liked me or not. which, in all reality does not make people like you, i have come to find.

there are a couple problems with this new decision. first, i think i really only decided this because the other managers here in hell love to walk all over anyone who will hold still long enough (and some who wont). the problem with that is, it is easier to stand up to them because i could not care less what they think of me. which is bad. it is probably why i hate this job so much. i dont really care about a who lot of people here and the ones that i did care about are gone because they got fired.

they other problem is deciding in which situations i should stick up for myself. recently, a certain person has tried to bait me a couple times. i feel that this person is simply trying to make me feel guilty for decisions i have made. i am not ashamed of those decisions. i am sorry for the way that i acted them out at times but i dont feel that i or the other person to whom blame was assigned are entirely at fault. we have all made mistakes and have tried to make up for it at times . but this person doing the baiting is still angry and it seems wont take any blame for herself. also, she made it seem like we were the ones who left when we didnt but she was. I could go into the specifics of each thing that made me angry in the story but i did that earlier and it was only hurtful. like natalie and sara said there are other sides to the story but i am not going to go into the specifics that only end up hurting people. i love you and i have kept you in my prayers, especially during this hard time for you; but there has been a break in our friendship that will probably never heal because we have never talked about it. it seems so trivial now but that is what growing up and moving on is about.

posted by totogirl @ 2:55 AM