4.11.2005

thoughts on lots of subjects....

i really dont know what to post about today. last week i was going to post on how the mall negates my existence but that is so yesterday and the passion has left me.

i went to the Kank yesterday. we (by we i mean sara, scott, joel and I) went to Wazfest (a benefit for her cousin in memory of his dad). it was very fun. they had music, hot dogs and prizes. very cool.

anyway, we drove through town and stuff and i was struck with the longing. i really wish that we still lived there. i know that is mostly because my job sucks and if we lived there i would still be at paramount and stuff. funny thing is joel would prolly be a manager by now too. i know that it would not be the same and in all reality i would be just as lonely and bored as i am here but at least it would be in a town where i knew people and felt safe. i would love my job and be 5 minutes from my sister (speaking of which...maria applied for a position in pennsylvania:( that makes me sad). i sometimes, usually, feel that we messed up moving here. i dont know though.

i am changing the subject now... so i feel really bad. i got really upset with my husband the other day. it was not a stupid reason but it was completely unprovoked and i dont know why i did it. i think that i even picked the fight, not on purpose mind you but i did. i think for some reason i wanted a reason to cry. for the last couple of weeks i feel like i have been on the verge of tears all the time. the stupidest things on tv make me cry and i am sitting at work right now trying to hold back the tears. i just feel so sad all the time and i dont know why...maybe because i cant get the words to "I think it is going to rain today" (from the Beaches soundtrack) out of my head.

now that i have depressed everyone, i feel that i must tell a joke... "if i had to choose between pie heaven and regular heaven...i would choose pie heaven because it could be a trick but if it is not...then mmmmm pie!" i have to go close down booth now.

posted by totogirl @ 11:57 PM

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I'm Afghanistan!
In the words of Bob Dylan, you "haven't known peace and quiet in so long [you] don't remember what it's like!"  Sad but true.  Boss after boss has led you around, using you for their nefarious purposes, and dumping you when the time was right.  You've hurt and been hurt and now you're just sick and tired.  When will people leave you alone and let you do your own thing?  But you don't really even know what you want anymore.
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