change
so how many times since joel and i moved here last september have i mentioned that i hate my job? i think that the answer is the number of times that i have blogged since my first day there. so, i put my notice in last monday. my last day is the 25th. now, i am all the sudden sad to be leaving. partially, it is because i will miss all the girls that work here. there have been kids that i did not know cared that much telling me they are upset that i am leaving. that makes me feel good.the other reason is that i am terrified of change. so, i really really really want the job at way station. i am excited about the prospect of using my degree and getting out of the theater business. but i am terrified that i can not hack it. so terrified that i cant have faith. i remember a pastor saying once that having faith meant that if you prayed for rain to wear a raincoat and bring an umbrella. so i should just trust that God led me to get that degree for a reason and that he will let me use it. i should have faith that i will get the job wear i can actually make a difference in people's lives but no...i had to go and apply at the theaters in the area just in case. the problem is that if i get one i am not sure that i will have the strength to turn it down. it is safe. i already know how to do it and i know that i am good at it. what if i suck at the job at way station? in fact, i already feel like i have jinxed my chances just because i refused to have faith.
i never really thought that i was that scared of change. how do you get over the fear of change?
posted by totogirl @ 1:41 AM
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