our decision
i dont know why but i feel the need to clarify the reasons for joel and i's decision to move. it comes down to 2 things really. they are simple to me but very important.the first thing has to do with what i read about on my sisters blog. she wrote about my grandpa. she described him perfectly and the way that many of us felt about him and his death. he was an amazing man, so big and intimidating but so completely full of love for us and for God that i will never forget the safety i felt in his home. she talked about writing a letter to grandpa and putting it in his casket. i wrote one too, in fact i think that all the grandkids did. i put in that letter how much i admired him and how he was the not only the Christian that i wanted to be but one of the 2 examples for the man that i wanted to marry.
anyway the reason that i want to move is that i want my kids to grow up feeling that way about my father. he is the other example in faith, love and action that i looked for in the man that i married. i want my children to know my parents, not just recognize them. it is that basic.
the other reason that i want to move has to do with what my mother used to always say to us when we were little. she used to always say that my sisters were the ones that would be my best friends forever. i never believed her; granted i was close to them but i thought that other friends would be the same way. with the exception of one friend (who is now my sister) mom was right. other friends have come and gone but my sisters (all 8 of them) are the ones that have been their for me through everything. anyway, although i will miss the ones that i leave behind here more than i think i realize right now, i have to do this. it is not that any sister is more important than any other but i guess it comes down to numbers. there are more of them out there.
there are other reasons for this move but these are the 2 biggest ones to me. there are many fears involved too. i am scared that we wont be able to survive out there, not enough money or other things. there is also the fear that my husband will eventually resent me for this. dont get me wrong, he wants to move too but i am scared that one day he will resent that we moved away from his family and closer to mine. he assures me that this is will not happen but these are the things that i worry about.
posted by totogirl @ 11:57 PM
5 Comments:
I haven't talked to you but Dad said that Joel was offered a position and that you had good prospects. Congrats. This is a bittersweet moment, I know. I'm dreading what is coming in just nine months or so, but I can relax and be excited about the move because you guys will be closer. What Mom said about family being the best of friends has always resonated with me. I love you all so much!
ok. so now its my turn. all i really have to say is that you and your husband better return to blogging at least once a week and we better talk on the phone all the time. if i had to make the choice you did, i can't say i would make it differently, and while im sad to see you go, i want your happiness, and know that for now, this is whats best for you. and i worry about scott resenting me all the time too...for much smaller things :) anyway--i love you, and its too bad the numbers aren't in my favor--but tis all part of God's adventure.
who left the nine month comment? is someone preggers?
I'm wondering about the nine-month comment, too!! :) I was thinking it was Naomi until the nine-month part. Leah has just a month left, so it's not her. Abigail? Surely it's not Laura! Ummmm, Maria? I'm running out of sisters of yours.
Anyway, I am VERY excited you are moving here! We are praising the Lord for His guidance in job prospects and praying for peace in your move.
Hmm. I just reread the nine-months thing. Is it Maria talking about them moving out here?
Well, "Maria," looks like you have really started something. I am proud. Lexa, It will not be me having another baby in 9 months(Maybe it's you).
All in all, Rachel, the changes ahead are intimidating. I am convinced that God has been leading you. Remember nothing has to be permanent (unless you try to superglue your shoe on the kitchen counter without newspaper - part of the sole remains as a tribute to how somethings are permanent). We just follow God one step at a time. (I hope your legs get longer fast 'cause 10 hours ends up being a giant step :) - The Garrett's are looking forward to having another aunt nearby.
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